Bill Curtis' Voice Intro Lines

On the NPR show Wait Wait, Don't Tell Me, announcer Bill Kurtis opens each show introducing him self, and then saying something about himself, like “the voice so smooth” followed by a clever remark. This is a collection of those lines. Not all of the actual show dates are listed, because sometimes there is a guest announcer who is not Bill; these are just Bill's lines. Also, just reading the text of these lines don't do the performance proper justice. The actual delivery is most of the greatness of them =)

The celebrity guests labeled “-highlight reel-” are episodes which have no celeb booking to interview, so they just showcase past celeb interviews instead of the normal format, but they still do a unique intro for this list to track =)

Air Date Celebrity Guest Line
2026-0509 Bobby Lopez “To answer your question: yes, it did hurt when my voice fell from heaven.”
2026-0502 Ron Burgundy “I am the anchor man, the anchor myth, the anchor legend: Bill Kurtis.”
2026-0425 Father James Martin “I'm the voice so fine, even my sneezes sounds like music.”
2026-0411 -highlight reel- “I'm the seven-time winner of the Ft Lauderdale wet blazer contest.”
2026-0404 Olivia Munn “Hey, Easter bunny. Fill those giant ears with my voice.”
2026-0321 Aasif Mandvi “I'm the voice so hot, the mic drops itself.”
2026-0307 Jason Benetti “I'm the voice so powerful, I command the clocks to spring forward.”
2026-0228 Lilly King “I'm the man with the voice so smooth, you could go curling on it.”
2026-0214 Arden Cho “Hey there, Cupid; put down that arrow and let my voice pierce some hearts.”
2026-0207 Mychal Threet “I'm the reason everybody's throwing Superbill parties this weekend.”
2026-0131 Jon M Chu “It's cold out there, but don't worry, I'm still hot.”
2026-0124 Kevin O'Leary “and my voice is the only set of pipes not freezing this weekend.”
2026-0117 Kali Reis “I'm the voice so soothing, lullabies listen to me to fall asleep.”
2026-0110 Delroy Lindo “I'm the voice so rich, it makes you sign a pre-nup.”
2025-1220 Rhea Seehorn “I'm the voice Santa uses for the audio book version of his naughty list.”
2025-1122 -highlight reel- “I'm the voice so intoxicating, you need to stop operating heavy machinery.”
2025-1115 Tiffany Haddish “Warning! There's no lifeguard on duty; you're in the deep-end, of my voice.”
2025-1025 Ally The Piper “I'm the voice so strong, it can open the jar of pickles for you.”
2025-1004 Becca Mann “Fun fact about my voice: This is me, on helium.”
2025-0927 Cynthia Nixon “When you yell echo, I'm the voice that yells back.”
2025-0906 Renee Rapp “I'm the voice so big it won't fit in the overhead compartment.”
2025-0830 Paul Giamatti “Spread my smooth buttery voice on that baguette.”
2025-0809 Pedro Pascal “I'm an anchorman about anchorboys.”
2025-0823 -highlight reel- “I'm the man they call Bill-overa, because my voice can soothe any sunburn.”
2025-0826 Laufey “If my voice wore pants, I'd buy them in the big-and-tall section.”
2025-0719 James Gunn “I hope you've got treads on those boots, because my voice is so smooth you might slip.”
2025-0712 Jan Jensen “Des Moines, meet, Da man.”
2025-0628 Anna Kendrick “Hey there, Maine. I'm the voice that shines so bright you won't even need your stupid lighthouse.”
2025-0621 Ibtihaj Muhammad “I'm the voice so creamy, you better take some Lactaid.”
2025-0614 Chris Perfetti “I'm the voice that tells souls to go toward the light.”
2025-0607 Jeff Gordon “You may know me as the voice of Bill Kurtis.”
2025-0531 Jim Rice “Do I smell clam chowder? No, it's just my rich and creamy voice.”
2025-0524 Ego Nwodim “I'm the original big beautiful Bill.”
2025-0517 -highlight reel- “Invite me to your Memorial Day picnic; I'll eat your deviled eggs no matter how long they've been out in the sun.”
2025-0503 Natasha Rothwell “I'm the voice so peanut buttery, it comes in chunky and smooth.”
2025-0426 Brian Tyree Henry “Accept no substitute.”
2025-0419 Lewis Black “Sink your teeth into me, North Carolina. I'm your hot and saucy Bill-becue.”
2025-0412 Austan Goolsby “I must be a dumb thing you said at a party, because you can't stop thinking about me.”
2025-0405 Sterling K Brown “Sailors beware: Resist the overwhelming urge to follow my gorgeous voice. Stay away from me, sailors.”
2025-0322 Moe Wagner “Today, I'm your Florida Man.”
2025-0315 Amanda Seyfried “I've got a juicy dump-truck voice.”
2025-0308 Lauren Graham “ I've got the voice of an angel, and the body of a hot angel.”
2025-0301 Roy Wood Jr “I'm back, bitches.”
2025-0111 Josh Gad “My voice is so smooth, you'd think it just got Botox.”
2024-1221 Melissa McCarthy “Forget your silver bells; I'm your silver fox.”
2024-1214 Ketanji Jackson “Anybody here a reindeer? Because I'm about to sleigh.”
2024-1207 Jim Gaffigan “I'm Frosty the Anchorman.”