Bill Curtis' Voice Intro Lines
On the NPR show Wait Wait, Don't Tell Me, announcer Bill Kurtis opens each show introducing him self, and then saying something about himself, like “the voice so smooth” followed by a clever remark. This is a collection of those lines. Not all of the actual show dates are listed, because sometimes there is a guest announcer who is not Bill; these are just Bill's lines. Also, just reading the text of these lines don't do the performance proper justice. The actual delivery is most of the greatness of them 
The celebrity guests labeled “-highlight reel-” are episodes which have no celeb booking to interview, so they just showcase past celeb interviews instead of the normal format, but they still do a unique intro for this list to track
| Air Date | Celebrity Guest | Line |
|---|---|---|
| 2026-0509 | Bobby Lopez | “To answer your question: yes, it did hurt when my voice fell from heaven.” |
| 2026-0502 | Ron Burgundy | “I am the anchor man, the anchor myth, the anchor legend: Bill Kurtis.” |
| 2026-0425 | Father James Martin | “I'm the voice so fine, even my sneezes sounds like music.” |
| 2026-0411 | -highlight reel- | “I'm the seven-time winner of the Ft Lauderdale wet blazer contest.” |
| 2026-0404 | Olivia Munn | “Hey, Easter bunny. Fill those giant ears with my voice.” |
| 2026-0321 | Aasif Mandvi | “I'm the voice so hot, the mic drops itself.” |
| 2026-0307 | Jason Benetti | “I'm the voice so powerful, I command the clocks to spring forward.” |
| 2026-0228 | Lilly King | “I'm the man with the voice so smooth, you could go curling on it.” |
| 2026-0214 | Arden Cho | “Hey there, Cupid; put down that arrow and let my voice pierce some hearts.” |
| 2026-0207 | Mychal Threet | “I'm the reason everybody's throwing Superbill parties this weekend.” |
| 2026-0131 | Jon M Chu | “It's cold out there, but don't worry, I'm still hot.” |
| 2026-0124 | Kevin O'Leary | “and my voice is the only set of pipes not freezing this weekend.” |
| 2026-0117 | Kali Reis | “I'm the voice so soothing, lullabies listen to me to fall asleep.” |
| 2026-0110 | Delroy Lindo | “I'm the voice so rich, it makes you sign a pre-nup.” |
| 2025-1220 | Rhea Seehorn | “I'm the voice Santa uses for the audio book version of his naughty list.” |
| 2025-1122 | -highlight reel- | “I'm the voice so intoxicating, you need to stop operating heavy machinery.” |
| 2025-1115 | Tiffany Haddish | “Warning! There's no lifeguard on duty; you're in the deep-end, of my voice.” |
| 2025-1025 | Ally The Piper | “I'm the voice so strong, it can open the jar of pickles for you.” |
| 2025-1004 | Becca Mann | “Fun fact about my voice: This is me, on helium.” |
| 2025-0927 | Cynthia Nixon | “When you yell echo, I'm the voice that yells back.” |
| 2025-0906 | Renee Rapp | “I'm the voice so big it won't fit in the overhead compartment.” |
| 2025-0830 | Paul Giamatti | “Spread my smooth buttery voice on that baguette.” |
| 2025-0809 | Pedro Pascal | “I'm an anchorman about anchorboys.” |
| 2025-0823 | -highlight reel- | “I'm the man they call Bill-overa, because my voice can soothe any sunburn.” |
| 2025-0826 | Laufey | “If my voice wore pants, I'd buy them in the big-and-tall section.” |
| 2025-0719 | James Gunn | “I hope you've got treads on those boots, because my voice is so smooth you might slip.” |
| 2025-0712 | Jan Jensen | “Des Moines, meet, Da man.” |
| 2025-0628 | Anna Kendrick | “Hey there, Maine. I'm the voice that shines so bright you won't even need your stupid lighthouse.” |
| 2025-0621 | Ibtihaj Muhammad | “I'm the voice so creamy, you better take some Lactaid.” |
| 2025-0614 | Chris Perfetti | “I'm the voice that tells souls to go toward the light.” |
| 2025-0607 | Jeff Gordon | “You may know me as the voice of Bill Kurtis.” |
| 2025-0531 | Jim Rice | “Do I smell clam chowder? No, it's just my rich and creamy voice.” |
| 2025-0524 | Ego Nwodim | “I'm the original big beautiful Bill.” |
| 2025-0517 | -highlight reel- | “Invite me to your Memorial Day picnic; I'll eat your deviled eggs no matter how long they've been out in the sun.” |
| 2025-0503 | Natasha Rothwell | “I'm the voice so peanut buttery, it comes in chunky and smooth.” |
| 2025-0426 | Brian Tyree Henry | “Accept no substitute.” |
| 2025-0419 | Lewis Black | “Sink your teeth into me, North Carolina. I'm your hot and saucy Bill-becue.” |
| 2025-0412 | Austan Goolsby | “I must be a dumb thing you said at a party, because you can't stop thinking about me.” |
| 2025-0405 | Sterling K Brown | “Sailors beware: Resist the overwhelming urge to follow my gorgeous voice. Stay away from me, sailors.” |
| 2025-0322 | Moe Wagner | “Today, I'm your Florida Man.” |
| 2025-0315 | Amanda Seyfried | “I've got a juicy dump-truck voice.” |
| 2025-0308 | Lauren Graham | “ I've got the voice of an angel, and the body of a hot angel.” |
| 2025-0301 | Roy Wood Jr | “I'm back, bitches.” |
| 2025-0111 | Josh Gad | “My voice is so smooth, you'd think it just got Botox.” |
| 2024-1221 | Melissa McCarthy | “Forget your silver bells; I'm your silver fox.” |
| 2024-1214 | Ketanji Jackson | “Anybody here a reindeer? Because I'm about to sleigh.” |
| 2024-1207 | Jim Gaffigan | “I'm Frosty the Anchorman.” |
