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But She Didn't Believe Me

  • No.1 (dated April 26, 2004)
    • I had seen the birds on the wire but didn't think much of them until they flew into the air in one giant cloud, came toward me and swiped the keys out of my hand. They began to swirl into a giant pillar which transformed into a giant man made out of feathers. He dangled the keys at me teasingly, but little did he know I had my spring shoes on that day. SPROING! I jumped super high into the air and grabbed the keys back. Upon landing, I sprang toward him and kicked a bunch of feathers out of his leg with ramming speed. He toppled over and landed with a big THUD and the birds scattered into the air and flew away. I bounced around a little before I retracted the springs in my shoes and landed softly. I took the keys back to Bev and told her my story, but she didn't believe me.
  • No.2
    • .
  • No.3 (undated)
    • There was a whirlwind blocking the door as I was walking back.
    • “What's the toll to let me back inside?” I asked the scowling whirlwind of frost.
    • :Keeeys…“ it said, howling fiercely.
    • “Sorry, I don't have any keys to spare – these are my friend Beverly's keys.”
    • “Those look just fine! I'm hungry!”
    • “You haven't heard of me, have you?”
    • “Who are you?”
    • My name's Mike, and I eat whirlwinds for breakfast!”
    • The whirlwind thought for a moment, then decided to met me in instead of getting eaten.
    • The whirlwind flew away and told his whirlwind friends to stay away from that area.
    • I walked back and and told Bev my story about the whirlwind, but she didn't believe me.
  • No.4 (undated)
    • I was returning back to the building as I had just dropped off Bev's bags off at her car when a giant boulder rolled right by in front of me. I, surprised, watched it roll down the long driveway and land in a pile of them. A PILE of them? I looked back to the direction it had come to see that a giant mountain had appeared to the North and boulders were rolling down a little valley-groove that came all the way from the top. Perplexed at how this mountain had gotten there during the night, (since there are no mountains in this part of Texas) I began walking towards it. A centaur walked up and blocked my way. He was the king of the mountain and was testing out his boulder ramp. I told him that he couldn't do it here, because people needed to work and would drive and walk down in that area. “Too bad!” yelled the centaur. He turned his back to me and waved his hand to another centaur servant on top of the mountain, who pushed down another boulder. While the king's back was turned, I saw a keyhole on his hip, with a sign that said “GO AWAY” on it. I was reaching over to try Bev's key in the metal hole as the king turned back around to see if I was still there. The key had slipped in but I jerked my hand back and stood still like I had been only watching. “What are you doing?” he asked. I immediately knew that by turning the key he might “go away” as the sign said. I said nothing, hoping he would turn back around to watch as the boulder came down. He narrowed his eyes at me suspiciously and turned back. I jumped toward him, turned the key, and pulled it back out. “What? NO!!!” cried the King Centaur as he saw what I had done. A tremendous lightning bolt shot down from the clear sky and the entire mountain vanished, including the King and the pile of boulders. I was just about to walk in when the servant centaur trotted up to me thanking me for doing that – he was tired of working for that mena king, and galloped off into the sunrise happt that he was free. I went back in and told Bev about her keys that saved the day, but she didn't believe me.
  • No.5 (June 3, 2004)
    • I was just about to open the trunk of Bev's car when I heard a growl. I couldn't figure out where it was coming from, until I saw her car inch forward when I tried to put the key in the hole. The car didn't want to be opened!
    • “But I need to put these leather bags inside. C'mon!”
    • Despite my plea the car started up and pulled away before I could open the trunk. I set the bags and key down on the driveway. I knew I had to think fast before the car took off. I saw a garden hose nearby, so I grabbed t up nd quickly fashioned a makeshift lasso. I whirled it around my head and flung it at the tires. It caught on the front passenger side wheel and wrapped around the axle! As I tugged on it, the car (which is stronger than me)began to pull me away. I promptly tied the other end of the garden hose to the spout attached to the building, but the car was stronger than I thought. The car began to pull the building along with it, but slowly since the building ws heavy. This gave me enough time to run and grab the bags unlock the trunk, toss them in and close it back. Then I opened the door with the key, and drove the car back to the building and pushed it back into place, then moving it to its regular parking spot, putting on the emergency brake so it wouldn't move anywhere else. I brought Bev's keys back in to her, told her about how her car didn't want the bags, had pulled the building off its foundation, and how I lasso'd it back into submission, but she didn't believe me.
  • No.6 (undated)
    • I had just put the bags in her trunk when I casually gazed to the southwest and saw a gigantic being standing in the distance. It looked like it was dripping! It must have seen me, because it walked closer. It was gigantic! It must have stood higher than the empire state building! It slowly leaned down to me, dripping huge drops of water that flattened a nearby tree with one huge splash.
    • “Are those keys in your hand?” it spoke with a gurgly voice.
    • “Yes, but they are not mine. Do you need to unlock something?”
    • “Haha! I have tasted keys from all over the universe. They are my favorite snack!”
    • “Are you leaving?”
    • Yes. I just stopped home to take a nap. That valley over there was a nice plce to lie down,“ it said as a few fish landed next to me. I realized that this creature was our lake that was actually a humongous space creature, just lying down!
    • “Well, the next time you come by, I'll have a big pile of keys for you to sample!”
    • “Why, thank you,” the lake said, as it turned into a giant dark cloud of fog and slowly lifted into the sky. I went back inside and told Beverly my story, but she didn't believe me.
  • (unnumbered, undated)
    • Just as I was closing the trunk, I looked over my shoulder and saw a stampede of Texas Longhorns running past me, between me and the door. I made sure I had my keys, but just as I was looking at them, one horn snagged the ring out of my hand and was taken away at tremendous speed. I took out my radio and called a friend who lived down the street – she was just walking out to get the morning paper and saw the stampede. I ask her to grab Bev's keys as they went by, and she did, just in time. Thankfully she used to be a baseball pitcher, so she wrapped the keys up in the funny paper and threw the little ball all the way back to me! I caught it! I unwrapped the keys, thanked the lady on the radio, and walked back inside. I told Bev my story about the stampede, but she didn't believe me.
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